Wednesday, January 18, 2012

"Give It Up"

*photo courtesy of

When my friend asked me a few weeks ago to go see a Wu-Tang concert in Philly with her, I immediately said yes with a primordial excitement, as did our other married-with-children-friend whom she had been discussing it with moments before.
Who wouldn't wanna revisit one’s past? We were not about to miss out recapturing one of our youthful pleasures.

But when each of our husbands turned us down on the idea, I think we were a little crushed inside, both by our sadness for not attending the show and for realizing our husbands’ (most likely irrational) fear of the off-chance that their baby-mamas would get caught up in a fight of gel-heads wearing-white-shoes-and-tank-tops-in-winter being possible.

Stereotypically, husbands keep the transmissions in our vehicles running, we wifeys make them dinner. They spark us, we spark them. Either way, any and all solid partnerships are about fueling one another with all the goodness we need to keep going, achieving, growing, learning, living passionately, and yes, keeping smart and safe. Just like children do with their parents, we as adults in partnerships (and even in candid friendships) each have someone to answer to and keep us in line. And people that do not have a partner, or a child, or a vigilant parent or friend they care to answer to often stop answering to themselves. Perhaps, if they are not being the best they can be, they are the ones who have nothing to lose.

As I sit at my desk, next to a photo of me jumping out of an airplane, I can’t help but wonder, when we move from risk-takers to sensible choices, is that the true mark of adulthood? Is real adulthood making the hard, selfless choices to get to the outcome I want rather than proving myself right or vindicated all the time?

After jumping out of an aircraft five times, I can positively say that I would never willingly do it again. But it is the reminder of it on my desk that lets me know what I did at 10,000 feet will always be with me and what I can do on the ground can be equally exhilarating if I just take that proverbial leap in to “adulthood.”

Perhaps the “adult” Cira James, ain’t nuthin’ to F’ with.

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